Today would have been my mothers birthday, except she passed away twelve years ago. She was taken too soon, she wasn’t even forty yet. We were more than mother/daughter, we were best friends. I’ve missed her more than anything, but the worst thing about losing my mother at seventeen was how much she missed.
*Note the picture to the right are two of the biggest influences in my life, my mother and my Grandfather (Pappy). Both are gone, but will always have a special place in my heart. Sorry for the flash mark, I took a picture of a picture with my phone, I couldn’t find my camera.*
There were times we didn’t see eye to eye, and she had her issues, but the loss of her is still strong even all these years later.
I never knew loss until I lost her. Yes, I lost others in my life, other family members, etc. but it wasn’t the same. It was like a piece of my soul was lost that day. To hear people say she’s watching over me is honestly little comfort, it’s more about all she missed.
Of all the milestones in my life she missed the two that hurts the most, are my wedding day and the ones concerning my writing. She always believed I could be the author I longed to be. I’ve made it. I wish she could be here to celebrate it with me. The first time I made the bestselling list, to celebrate with her would have been all the better. I just wish I could have her here for one day, to celebrate one more holiday or special event with her.
I have so many wonderful memories of her but the one that stands out in my mind right now is bedtime. Each night when she tucked me in we would make up a bedtime story. I believe that’s where my love for storytelling started. She’s the one that instilled the avid reader trait in me and it’s the reason I believe in myself enough to try my hand at writing/publishing.
Even when you’re older and don’t need your parents there for every little thing like you do when you’re a child, you still miss them when they are gone. It doesn’t matter how old you get, or who comes into your life you’ll always miss them. If you’re parents are still alive, cherish the time you have with them. If they’ve pass as mine has than cherish the memories, for that’s all we have now. Memories and pictures of yesteryear.
Thank you Mom! I love you and miss you! Gone but never forgotten.